Nashville Stitch N Bitch

the truth about men's black crew neck sweaters: definition and characteristics OR what I have been doing since Christmas

A Man's Black Sweater (in stockinette) is an object so dense that light cannot escape its gravitational pull. It is formed when a knitter's partner complains that all others around him are clothed and gifted with knitted items except for him, causing the knitter to collapse into herself and fall victim to the pull. Usually, edgings and necklines and motifs balance out the sweater's gravity. However, when the knitter is overcome by only stockinette and absolutely no ornamentation or change of any kind, she gives in to gravity and proceeds to collapse. A smaller sweater, with maybe some ribbing or even a V-neck, will not collapse the way a Man's Black Stockinette Sweater will.

Because of its large mass, the Man's Black Stockinette Sweater has a gravitational pull from which even the swiftest knitters cannot escape. Knitters passing near the sweater are sucked in or trapped in orbit around the sweater causing the event horizon - or the boundary past which nothing can escape from the sweater - not even the knitter herself, even if she is offered lace, or booties, or even a pattern from Teva Durham. Approaching the event horizon, time seems to slow down. Knitting and purling warp together into a nebulous sameness that only can be described as "knurling " as predictability and the laws of science break down.

Of course, everything we supposedly know about what goes on during the knitting of a Man's Black Stockinette Sweater is only theory, since no one can actually knit one and return to tell the tale. Even if there were a way out, such as through an embellishment of some kind, the wishes of the Husband would soon crush the knitter's dreams of hemmed edges before she got very far.

Perhaps in the future we may find a way to investigate Men's Black Stockinette Sweaters more closely. Until then, however, they will retain a fast hold on the imaginations of knitting fact and fiction alike.

xo

asian pillows part deux

I swear this isn't going to be a blog about Asian pillows. I swear.

But the scraps, they are there. And the pillow, it must be made.

If you have a mind like mine, and I believe some of you do, you may recognize some of the following Angela-esque qualities:

1. Thinking about your projects in the middle of the night

2. Believing that sorting your scraps sounds like a peaceful way to spend your afternoon

3. Finding all the things that you can do with 1.5" wide strips of fabric "fun"

4. Asking your husband to do the hand-sewing

There are a lot more, but it might start to make you rethink your visits here, so I'll stop there.

This pillow popped out in a couple of hours Sunday afternoon while the husband built an airplane (before he got to the sewing) and the kids were resting. It's now residing in my etsy store.

Bless you kind person who bought my big ass Geisha pillow whoever you may be!

xo

lounging

In a vertiable FIT of resolution making (OK, really I made like 2 really easy ones) I resolved to only (OK, mostly) make things that I really want to make, and not what I have to make. So when the new year started, what did I do? Finish making the backlog of things that I had to make for other people. BUT THEN, oh but then, I started into the stuff I wanted to do.

One day I pulled out all of my fabric scraps (and I have all kinds of wacky personal rules about what constitutes fabric scraps and what is worth keeping - size, shape, etc - but that's a whole obsessive compulsive discussion for another day) and sorted them into piles - colors, themes, florals, stripes, you name it. I sorted.

Then I closed my eyes and picked a pile (which ended up being "Asian - Bright Colored") and cut it all into little uniform 1.5" wide strips. Perhaps it's too much Gee's Bend reading material right now, or maybe it's just what's blowin' in the wind, but Log Cabin patterns are really appealing. The symmetry, the spiral, the center motif, the possibilites of it all are kind of addicting once you get going so I couldn't stop myself once I got going and I used all of the "Asian - Bright Colored" on this sweet pillow.

And this is one sweet pillow. It's incredibly gigantic - 24" x 27", really less of a pillow and more of a floor cushion. Backed with black linen and quilted on the front. My first use of fusible batting (just wanted to give it a try and actually really enjoyed it) and I put it on both the front and back so it's extra sturdy. And yes, for those of you following along at home with this blog, my husband did the hand sewing to close it up. You betcha.

I don't know what the fate of this big ass pillow is. It will more than likely go in a spring craft show, though it is the one and only thing listed in my new etsy shop.

One more shout out to my cousin Lauren that I forgot to add - she forwarded me an envelope full of vintage knitting patterns, which can reach the dark little pit of my heart in a way that no amount of free makeup can.

xo

neef, vetter, cugina, prima, cousin, cuz

I have this really awesome cousin named Lauren.

Of course she was born about the time I learned to drive, but I try not to hold it against her.

She's a theatrical designer, recent college expatriate, and all around Creative Individual. She dresses cool, has a nose ring, and gives my Sunday School-going Southern family something to wonder about. She even moved to New York (hmm, kay I should employ you to look in on her periodically) and like Mary Richards, threw her hat in the air and said to herself that she would make it after all. Plus she got a swank job at Revlon and gives me free makeup.

She's one of those people that can just run to Goodwill and find a particularly scary dress and whip it into a casual and funky skirt. She can color her hair blue and make it seem like, "oh this? I was just having a bad hair day and couldn't find a hat". So when it comes to Christmas presents, you know Lauren doesn't just give socks and gloves. One night after Christmas while she was still in town, we were visiting at our grandparents' house and her mom and sister showed me the awesome bags they got from Lauren.

Apparently Lauren recycled some leather, and whipped them up some knitting bags that could carry every size of straight needle in the whole world (and yes, she ebayed all the needles). Inside is just as spacious and cool. I was all agog and ran all over my grandparents' house looking for a nice spot to take pics.

So here's to being young and creative and talented and cool. And also to free make up for your cousina.

xo

drafted

You might remember my friend Nibal. She's always happy to help someone who needs it in any way she can. And when she told me that she really NEEDED a bag, you know the girl needed a bag. And I can't resist someone who really needs a bag.

But the poor girl didn't get instantaneous service. She had to wait and wait and wait through the holidays past the quilts and the thousands of oven mitts and millions of hats until almost Epiphany to get her damn bag. And finally, I can joyfully say that the bag is on it's way to God's Country Charlotte, NC today.

Here's me drafting up a little pattern. It was based on Her Most Glorious Highness Amy Butler's in town bag, but Nibal being Nibal it had to be utterly changed in every direction and size and me being me I was all about changing it in every direction and size.

Then, in a great moment of realizing that we had YARDS too much fabric leftover to just let it sit on a shelf, Nibal came up with the idea for an adult version of the crayon bag for crocheters! Those poor crocheters get the shaft when it comes to fancy schmancy bags and fun totes to keep their stuff in because, as we all know, half the pure joy of having a hobby comes in the form of the stuff that you get to buy to go with your hobby and how you get to show it off to your fellow hobbyists. Just me? OK.

Anyway, Nibal got her crayon, er, crochet bag. It has spots in the front pocket to put hooks of multiple sizes, a place for little scissors and maybe a tape measure and inside you can fit a ball of yarn and a pattern and hit the road. It's crochet porn. Let's see what kind of Google hits I get from that little phrase.

I am sparing you from knowing the DARING and FASCINATING details of the black stockinette sweater for the Husband. I'll give you this tantalizing tidbit - I have 18 full inches of square black stockinette (I'm sure there'll be some google searches from that too). Uniform and hypnotic. More later as I dare to keep you on the edge of your seat.

xo

2006

My predictions for your crafty 2006:

In - knitalongs / Out - knitalongs

In - wool and cotton / Out - blends

In - socks (not that it will convince me to love them) / Out - scarves

In - lace / Out - stockinette

In - writing a book / Out - blogging without having a companion book

In - book tours / Out - 3 hour tours

In - sweaters / Out - warmers of all kinds - nose, knee, leg, wrist etc.

In - Teva Durham / Out - Suss Cousins

In - yarn stores / Out - Target knitting kits

In - Handspun / Out - Machine Spun

In - Making stuff for your mother / Out - making stuff for your mother in law

In - Learning to knit, sew or otherwise be crafty / Out - complaining that you wish you knew how to do something

In - A weekly Stitch n Bitch / Out - just bitching but not stitching

In - ribbing / Out - cables

In - circulars / Out - straights

In - straights / Out - circulars

In - denyse schmidt / Out - kaffe fassett (OK, not really).

In - shrugs / Out - ponchos

In - blogging your craft exploits / Out - hoarding your craftiness all to yourself

In - crafty podcasts / Out - what is a podcast?

In - internet craft shopping / Out - michael's

In - amy butler / Out - mccall's

In - buying handmade / Out - buying retail

In - Quality / Out - Quantity

In - Felting / Out - Felting